


Normal

by chenziee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Employee of the year for me i think, I'm honestly not sure, M/M, Mild Gore, Psychopaths In Love, Public Transportation, Yandere Eren Yeager, Yandere Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), assholes on trains, can you tell I've had a few wonderful rides lately, kind of, kind of......, so is rating, warning is to be safe, written and posted at work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 12:22:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17284007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chenziee/pseuds/chenziee
Summary: Levi knew he probably had a problem. That he wasn’t normal. It wasn’t normal to fantasize about slitting people’s throats, about watching them bleed dry. It wasn’t normal to have friends explain to you that stabbing people really really wasn’t okay and to have them eye you warily like you were going to go full on psycho on them.Then he met Eren.





	Normal

**Author's Note:**

> This is 100% self-indulgent and I'm not sorry.

Levi hated the stench of stale alcohol. It disgusted him beyond measure, made him want to gag and run away from past echoes of angry shouts and invisible fists. It reminded him too much of his early years in the slums, the smell of cheap alcohol ever present around the homeless and poor, a unifying poison that made living like that easier and harder at the same time.

He also hated the smell of sweet perfume, the fragrance heavy and over powerful, making Levi recoil and cover his mouth and nose. It was like he was back in the whorehouse he grew up in, the perfume used to cover up the smell of sex and sweat and grime.

Then there were people who didn’t understand the concept of personal space. Fuckers who thought they could invade Levi’s bubble, breathe down his neck, talk to him, _flirt_ with him. Fuckers who wouldn’t take Levi’s venomous glare for an answer.

Unfortunately for Levi, there were more than plenty of all of these in public places and even more in public transport. It was the hardest for Levi to control himself then.

A drunk shitface, a stinking, fake bitch, a body too close, and Levi would see red. Wouldn’t stop thinking about just pulling out a knife and stabbing the asshole in the stomach, twisting the blade until the hole was big enough to put a hand in and rip his guts out. Thinking about pulling out a cleaver and chopping off the offending hands that were too close for comfort, invading his personal space. Thinking about pulling out a gun and shooting the bitch in the neck, having the scent of blood overpower the sweet stench of her perfume.

Thinking about the anxiety finally going away when the place was covered in blood.

It got so bad, the need to just make something - some _one -_ bleed got so bad… Levi had to stop carrying his pocket knife with him. He was too worried he would snap and actually do something. Not that Levi would really care, beside blood being a fucking bitch to clean, but stabbing someone in public, in broad daylight, wasn’t exactly advised unless he wanted to end up playing catch with the police.

But of course, not having the knife on him made him feel even more antsy, exposed and vulnerable, his anxiety spiking up so high he would have to get off at stops that were too far away from where he intended to go.

It might have been easier driving his car everywhere but the fucking traffic made it damn near impossible to get anywhere on time. Levi was stuck.

Stuck with everything that reminded him of the worst time in his life, with everything he hated, with his anxiety, and with fingers that were itching to hurt hurt hurt.

Levi knew he probably had a problem. That he wasn’t normal.

It wasn’t normal to fantasize about slitting people’s throats, about watching them bleed dry. It wasn’t normal to have friends explain to you that stabbing people really really wasn’t okay and to have them eye you warily like you were going to go full on psycho on them.

But the thing was… Levi didn’t _not_ feel normal. He didn’t feel like he needed help. He was pretty happy thinking about the warmth of fresh blood, about how it would feel on his hands, how satisfying it would be to have some asshole whimpering at his feet, unable to say anything as he drowned in his own blood.

So he stopped talking about it. Stopped growling death threats under his breath when sitting next to his friends, no longer wondered out loud how much blood it would take to cover the smell of cigarettes clinging to clothes.

Then he met Eren.

The tall young man, with his long, silky, brown hair, warm green eyes, and a bright smile, was amazing, a ray of fucking sunshine in Levi’s life since day one. The only person Levi let touch him without flinching, without even batting an eye. He was pure and precious and Levi was so so scared to lose him.

Terrified to show him his darker side, to let him know Levi wasn’t exactly defined as _normal_ , whatever that meant, especially after Hanji seriously told him to not fuck this up. Explicitly told him to not say a word about his fantasies.

Levi didn’t really understand what was so wrong about it but he did understand when she said, “He’s going to leave.”

Levi didn’t want Eren to leave; he never wanted to let him go. Eren was _his_ and he was his _forever_. There was no other way for them to live on than with each other.

That’s why Levi was careful to never say anything. He bit on his tongue and never voiced his thoughts out loud; he would only scrunch up his nose and retreat further into himself, trying to make himself smaller and hide from all the disgusting shit outside.

And Eren was observant. He noticed these little things, immediately putting two and two together and making it his mission to make Levi as comfortable as humanly possible when they were on the train. Always making sure he stood in between Levi and anyone else to shield him, offering Levi a handkerchief to breathe through when some stinking fuck face boarded with them, loudly telling people off when they overstepped their boundaries.

Levi didn’t think it was possible for him to fall deeper in love with Eren but the young man proved him wrong again and again so Levi stopped assuming; he let himself fall blindly into the pit of these emotions, to depths that Levi was sure had no way out anymore.

Levi was stuck forever in love with Eren and he was okay with that. The prospect didn’t scare him like he thought it would, it was in fact a warm feeling, like he knew he would never _ever_ be alone in the future.

Even if it meant pretending he didn’t spend every second in public thinking about spilling blood.

But then, months into their relationship, something happened.

The two of them were standing on the train, talking to each other quietly as they waited for the stop closest to Levi’s apartment building. The ride was the most uncomfortable one in a while, the train completely packed, people pressing against each other, making Levi wish he could shoot a barbed wire cage out of his body to protect himself and Eren from the presence of other bodies. But he swallowed the wish down, suppressing the thought and mental image, like he usually did.

The train jerked to a stop a few stations before they needed to get off, bodies shifting as people got off and then others got on.

Levi felt someone step in behind him, the person close, way too close for comfort. He assumed they would move in a few seconds but he was dead wrong. Instead of pulling away, a hand found way to rest against the curve of his ass.

Levi jumped, making Eren look down at him questioningly. Levi only shook his head, not trusting himself to not say something stupid like ‘I want to cut off every single one his this assholes fingers and his dick and make him fucking eat them.’

Turned out he didn’t have to say anything.

Eren’s expression hardened, his eyes losing their spark as they darkened and narrowed. A shiver ran down Levi’s spine. The young man looked dangerous; incredibly dangerous, like a beast that had its territory invaded, ready to rip the offender apart any second, and Levi’s mouth watered.

He froze, his head went blank, the arm Eren wrapped around his waist to pull him against himself protectively being the only thing keeping him grounded. Levi couldn’t move, couldn’t make a single sound, so he simply watched as the taller man reached behind him to tear the molester’s arm away. The the pained cry that followed, the man begging to be let go only seconds later, Levi took it all in, let it envelop him like a safe blanket.

He glanced back over his shoulder to see an old guy kneeling on the floor, trying to pry Eren’s hand off of himself but Eren didn’t let go. He only smirked and pushed the guy’s hand further back.

There were tears in the molester’s eyes by the time the next stop came, at which point the other passengers threw the guy out of the train.

Eren didn’t let Levi go, however. He continued holding him tightly to his chest while keeping a close eye at their surroundings, glaring at anyone who even looked in their direction.

Levi had never felt so happy in his life, his chest felt warm, so so warm, he almost couldn’t take it. He had to gulp heavily to swallow the content purr that threatened to leave his throat in response to Eren’s animalistic growl when some poor fucker stepped in too close again.

Their stop couldn’t come soon enough. By the time they got out, Levi was shaking, completely beside himself with euphoria caused by Eren’s fierce protectiveness of him.

Levi hadn’t thought anything could make him feel more grounded when under stress than picturing himself making people bleed but he was wrong. Picturing _Eren_ making people bleed, for _him?_ Amazing. Perfect. Beautiful. The mere idea was too much, too wonderful, and Levi had to push the pictures away from his mind before he would melt or worse, tell Eren how fucking ethereal he would look with blood on his hands.

Levi wanted to eat Eren. He wanted to eat him and he wanted to be eaten by him in turn, he wanted the two of them to rip at each other until there was nothing left. He wanted to scratch at Eren’s skin until he drew blood, he wanted Eren’s teeth in his neck, he wanted… Everything he would have never dared to say out loud before.

But now… Now Levi wasn’t sure.

The way Eren gripped on his hand as he dragged him out of the train, the way he kept a constant eye on him, the way he pulled him behind the closest corner and slammed him against the wall, pressing himself as close as humanly possible and covering Levi’s smaller frame from view before kissing him fiercely, deeply, like he wanted to swallow Levi whole and leave no trace of him on this Earth.

Levi loved it.

He loved every second, every little bit of Eren’s wild side. It spoke to his own primal desires, shaking him to his core and reaching out to the dark, violent beast Levi was hiding inside.

Almost like the monsters inside the two of them were resonating in that moment.

Like they had finally found each other.

And then Eren pulled away, if only minutely, leaving Levi gasping for breath; lightheaded and feeling so drunk on everything that was Eren that he wasn’t sure he could keep himself together anymore.

He definitely couldn’t. Not when Eren clutched both Levi’s forearms almost painfully and rested his forehead against Levi’s, staring directly into his eyes when he muttered, “I wish I could rip his arm right off and watch him scream as he bled the fuck out for touching you.”

Levi shivered. Oh how he wished he could see that. Just the mere thought made his entire body heat up, his dick twitch.

But even though his body reacted immediately, his mind couldn’t understand what was happening. He didn’t think he would ever hear something like that outside his head; didn’t think _Eren_ would ever utter something like that. Not even in his wildest dreams. It was almost surreal to hear those words out loud and Levi had to repeat them inside his head several times before they even began to process.

And of course, Eren took Levi’s stunned silence, his suddenly frigid body, as a rejection.

Why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t _normal_. It was natural to assume Levi would reject him, even though in reality, the shorter man was fighting with himself so he doesn’t devour Eren, right then, right in that spot. In any sense of the word that he could - Levi didn’t care how, he just wanted Eren so much it _hurt_ and he didn’t care how exactly that would be.

A pang shot right through Levi's heart when Eren straightened up and took a step away, immediately making Levi miss the way he pressed against him, their bodies moulded together like they were trying to merge into one body. There was a look of regret on Eren’s face, the way he chewed on his bottom lip more than telling.

Yet the vengeful fire, the bloodthirst Levi knew so well from his own eyes… it was still there. Right in Eren's intense greens and Levi knew it wasn't the words themselves the other man regretted. It was saying them out loud that he thought shouldn't have happened.

Now it was up to Levi to somehow let him know that was the best thing he could have done.

He saw Eren gulp before the man looked somewhere to Levi’s left and Levi knew he had to say something. _Anything_ , before Eren walked away, talked it off, made it impossible for Levi to respond. But Levi didn’t know what words to use.

He _never_ knew what words use, really. He fucked up often, causing misunderstandings all the time, and he knew it. But Eren always seemed to understand him, didn’t he? He laughed at his stupid jokes, never got offended by Levi’s clumsy way of talking, explained to others what Levi was trying to say.

Even so, Levi was terrified. He didn’t dare say anything, no sound coming out of his mouth even as he tried. Opening his mouth, then closing it, trying again. His hand twitching to grab Eren’s hand and dig his nails into the flesh there, draw blood, leave a mark. Would Eren like that? Or would he hate it?

Levi jerked when Eren took a breath, about to speak first; Levi was running out of time. He had to do something. _Now_.

His mind shut down, he finally stopped thinking, forced himself to just move move _move_. Not giving Eren the opportunity to say whatever it was he was about to say, Levi grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down harshly, making Eren yelp in surprise.

Levi didn’t hesitate anymore. He lunged forward, going straight for Eren’s lips, uncaring of the pain caused by them crashing together. He relished in the hiss that came from Eren, the other man undoubtedly feeling the same sharp sting - and hopefully as welcoming of it as Levi was.

He didn’t give Eren time to react; he only tightened his grip on Eren's jacket and opened his mouth, slipping his tongue out to run it over Eren's lower lip - before biting down hard.

Eren didn't pull away like Levi expected. He didn't even cry out in pain. No, Eren moaned, a sound so low and guttural; it was like Levi was sucking his dick instead of biting his boyfriend so hard he thought he would draw blood.

Eren liked it. Liked it as much as Levi did and that in turn made Levi feel so fucking excited. Giddy butterflies flying all over in his stomach, a comfortable, calming heat spreading from his chest all the way to his finger tips, and his dick beginning to throb. Eren made him feel all these things, all these emotions he didn't understand, made him react in ways Levi had never thought possible.

Levi was so full of it all he thought he would explode - it was like there was a balloon in his chest, expanding and pushing against his ribcage, threatening to rip him apart, and Levi loved it and hated it. He didn’t know what to do with himself. And so he only pressed closer to Eren, closer to the body of the person who was probably more dangerous than Levi was. Yes, Eren was dangerous but to Levi, he was the safest place to be in that moment.

And Eren… Eren pressed right back. Finally woken up from the stupor, he growled, pushing Levi back. Levi barely noticed when his back hit the cold, hard wall again, the only thing he felt was Eren sucking on his tongue hard. It made Levi whine in need, whine for him to do more, to do _anything_ just to make that fire-like feeling spread all over and consume Levi's entire body. He needed to feel it, needed to hurt, needed _Eren._

As if hearing Levi’s thoughts, Eren reached up, his right hand settling around Levi’s nape, making goosebumps raise up on Levi's skin wherever he touched. He moved slowly and gently at first but didn’t stop there; his fingers curled until his nails dug painfully into Levi’s skin, making sure Levi felt their bite.

A shiver ran down Levi’s spine.

It hurt. It hurt so good, it made Levi weak. He damn well nearly melted under Eren and if it wasn’t for Eren’s other arm around his waist, his legs might have given out. He wanted more, wanted those nails to sink deeper, to drag over his skin, to leave angry red marks behind - marks that would sting with every Levi’s move for a day at least.

Eren chose that moment to pull away, if only minutely, and Levi only hoped his expression didn’t betray him any more than his body already did. He felt so exposed, so vulnerable, but he wasn’t scared. Embarrassed, if anything.

He gulped and took a few deep breaths before daring to open his eyes to look in to the greens that were undoubtedly studying him and searching for answers. Levi expected the puzzled look, expected the furrowed brows, and the chewing on the red and swollen bottom lip.

He, however, didn’t expect the eager, excited sparks in his eyes, and Levi’s breath hitched.

He never got a reaction like this from showing the hidden side of himself. It was new and confusing but made him happy. Made him feel accepted as he was, for the first time in his life.

But really, why did it surprise him? Eren did seem responsive to Levi’s aggression, didn’t complain about being bitten, didn’t rip himself away after Levi let the real him out for a few moments. Quite the opposite, really. It still didn’t stop Levi’s heart from jumping into a pace faster than could be healthy, nor did it stop his cheeks from heating up.

A hesitant, cheeky grin appeared on Eren’s face after a moment, right before he took a deep breath to speak, “So does this mean you don’t mind me threatening violence on random shitstains?”

Levi couldn’t help it. He laughed, the weight of the situation finally lifting. His voice shaking with barely suppressed chuckles, he replied, “That means _I_ wanted nothing more than to rip that random shitstan’s balls off to force feed him with them, before slitting his throat and draining him fucking dry.” Levi paused, not sure if his next words were a good idea.

Though really, this entire conversation was not a good idea in the first place. And he was already exposing himself like this, might as well go all the way, right? Levi wasn’t really one to hesitate anyway. So he looked Eren in the eyes and finished, voice quiet and serious, making sure Eren knew just how serious Levi was. “But watching _you_ do it might sound a hell of a lot better.”

A silence settled between them as the harsh and honest statement hung between them, neither really sure if Levi meant it literally or not.

It wasn’t like either of them could really do anything like that, not really anyway, but it was still not _normal_ to say shit like this, no matter if you were about to make it reality or not. It was also a fast way to get arrested and interrogated, maybe get oneself set up with a hot therapist date, as Erwin had kindly informed Levi years ago.

But this was Eren. Not anyone else but his Eren. And Eren was different.

He was different from Erwin, from Hanji, hell, even from Levi himself. He was different from anyone Levi had ever known and Levi trusted him and loved him more than he could ever express.

Levi knew Eren’s answer before the other man said anything. His expression softened as he exhaled slowly, a tension Levi didn’t notice until now leaving his broad shoulders.

“Perfect then,” Eren said finally, leaning over to give Levi a misleadingly soft kiss. It was only a brief touch of lips but there was unspeakable power and hunger behind and oh, how Levi wished they were alone in that moment.

Neither of them might be _normal_ but in the end, it didn’t really matter.

Not to them, and until they decided to let those monsters sleeping inside them out, it didn’t have to matter to anyone else either.

**Author's Note:**

> And then they went home and proceeded to have a long, romantic talk about the pros and cons of ripping people's nails off compared to sawing off their ears. Purely in theory, of course. True love~ <3


End file.
